Goodbye 2011, Hello 2012

"I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello"  Beatles 

Once again, as we near the end of 2011, many of us look back over the year and assess and judge our accomplishments, our times of joy, our times of sorrow and we measure....we measure ourselves against past years, against others, against our goals and aspirations set at the beginning of 2011. 
Do we measure up?  
Do we find ourselves in a better place, literally or figuratively? 
Do we find we have accomplished all that we set out to do this past year?  
And how do we feel about it all? 
The end of a year is often a time for reflection and assessment.

As we look back, take a moment to assess whether the focus is on the goodbyes or the hellos.  

Are we saying Goodbye to people in our life who no longer serve our well-being?  We all have them.  Those who would raise themselves to some lofty height, in their own minds, by undermining and finding fault with others.  Do we say Hello and embrace this belief that we are somehow to blame for their unhappiness to keep them in our life, or do we say Goodbye and release them, wishing them well on their life path but knowing we are not on the same road.  It's important to remember that people come into our life for a reason, a season or a lifetime and it is often painful to realize that someone must be released in order for us to grow and become all that we can be.   Let's all say Hello to new people who bring love and laughter into our life as we share experiences and laughter and become the happy person we know we are within.

Are we saying goodbye to events in our life that are over and past?  We all have them.  Someone said something and then someone said something else and now the someones aren't speaking and it's not fair and they should apologize and they should make it better and it's all their fault and I'm not to blame and, and, and.........the circle continues and grows as time goes on and the insults continue to brew within.
Meanwhile, the hurt, the reliving of the event and the constant talking of it only causes pain and, often, illness in the ones who refuse to let it go and move on.  I have found in my own life and in dealing with clients, that there are three sides to every story.  Mine, theirs and the truth somewhere in the middle. 
And as the event becomes an "elephant" in your life you can't go around it, over it, under it or
through it - so it becomes your life.  It is not always easy to walk away from a situation where you 
feel you have been wronged and deserve "something" but I will state absolutely, positively that you
must do so in order to preserve your health.  The negativity will make you ill.  As a situation escalates, remove yourself as one of the protagonists and walk away, literally or figuratively. 
Refuse to take part in continuing the endless cycle of anger and blame.  
Let the situation go, and perhaps the people causing it, if necessary.  In the end, you are responsible for you and you must take responsibility for your happiness, with no blame to others.  
Say Hello to a healthy lifestyle where you take control of your well being once again.

Are we saying goodbye to things in our life that no longer serve a purpose?  We all have them. 
I have often heard it said "the Universe abhors a vacuum"  By ridding ourselves of possessions that
do not enhance our well being we are detaching from material objects and allowing the Universe to provide those things that bring us joy and peace.  There are many programs on television now showing people who are labelled 'hoarders'.  These people attach emotions to objects and have difficulty
letting them go in fear of losing the emotional attachment.  I have dealt with clients who embrace this fear and it is very real to them.  "If I let go of my grandmother's lamp, I will be saying she's not important to me and I didn't love her."  To those who don't experience the hoarding instinct it is difficult to understand but most of us have something put away that we won't part with because of the memory that is attached with
that object.  Hoarding is an extreme case, but does it make it any less real if it is one or two things?  An inanimate object is just that.  It is made from ceramic, porcelain, plastic, gold, silver, clay........it doesn't matter the material.  It is the feeling you experience when you look at the object that gives it validity and we hold on to things that remind us of happier times.  Should we get rid of everything?  No. 
Should we realize that it is the memory that we cherish and not the object?  Yes. 
As long as what we hold on to serves a purpose in our life, it is of value.

Goodbye and Hello.  I often say I am not good at saying 'goodbye'.  I stand in the airport and see people hugging in the departure area and I'm in tears.  I watch movies where someone is leaving and I'm a wreck.  Goodbyes push a button in me that cause this reaction.  We all have different buttons and when pushed cause a reaction, whether it be anger, tears, laughter .....  One of mine is goodbyes.  Another is Hello.  I see someone I enjoy and I immediately feel joy and find myself smiling.

I look back over the past year and there was saying goodbye to my beloved yellow lab, Maddie after 13 years.  I still have her paw print in clay on my bookcase and realized the other day I can let it go now.  Maddie will always be with me and I keep her picture to remind me of the love we shared.

I look back over the past year and I said Hello much more often.  My daughter-in-law, Rebecca, whom I love as my own, officially joined our family last January when she and John married.  In October, I welcomed my sixth grandchild, Oscar, and the pure awe I experienced in holding him, when he was just 2 hours old, was recognized as the indescribable joy when I held my other 5 grandchildren for the first time.  Until you have experienced this phenomenon you cannot possibly understand the feeling within.  I helped to celebrate new jobs, birthdays, weddings, anniversaries and engagements of close friends and family members.  I spent a great deal of time with my two older sons, my lovely daughters-in-law and my beautiful grandchildren, who live out of town, this year and have made a conscious decision to spend as much, or more time, this coming year as I know that for me, my family is my most cherished possession.

Goodbye and Hello.

My wish for all of you in 2012 is that you can say goodbye easily and with a loving heart to 2011
and throw open your arms with love and laughter and yell out loud
"Hello 2012 - let's have some fun!"

                                                    
                                                           Beware what you set your heart upon
                                                                for it shall surely be yours.
                                                                                                     Ralph Waldon Emerson